Poor Brenton's Almanac

lol!

2011-04-18T13:03:23.733-07:00

lol!

I've never made a mixtape, but I have made a m...

2011-02-09T08:56:25.349-08:00

I've never made a mixtape, but I have made a mix CD. I have never left any sort of silence. That's wasteful. That empty void at the end of a mix is the perfect place to recite my experimental poem, tentatively titled "My Penis."

The great thing about My Penis is that it's very flexible. It can be as long as you'd like it, since the poem is me repeatedly whispering the words "my penis" at semi-audible levels until Roxio says that I'm out of room.

But it's not about my penis. Oh no. The poem is a commentary on the alienation that we all suffer in our modern world, a spiraling kaleidoscopic vision of the listener's own emotional headspace, all bound together by a web of communal experience in the cultural wasteland of the 21st century.

Souls don't exist. If they did then they would...

2010-12-09T11:08:24.349-08:00

Souls don't exist. If they did then they would probably act just as we do right now. Most would be trying to swindle the others out of a body or trying to kill each other and some would be liberals and some conservatives. I'm sure that if a soul is the essence of a person then the soul wouldn't change regardless of where its at. So they are probably near to people makin sex hoping to hop into a baby or they are sexin each other and thats how more souls are formed but aren't as good as souls that have had human body experience. And thats how republicans are made.

I have so much hope for you.

2010-10-21T23:57:58.924-07:00

I have so much hope for you.

Good job! Ha-Ha! I'll see you at the insurance...

2010-10-20T18:41:06.112-07:00

Good job! Ha-Ha! I'll see you at the insurance agency. I suggest a green accountants visor and a bow tie. That'll wow them.

Oh, Mr. Graves; I will take a baker's dozen.

2010-10-07T16:43:09.053-07:00

Oh, Mr. Graves; I will take a baker's dozen.

Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and Girls! Step up, s...

2010-10-07T04:58:39.420-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and Girls!

Step up, step up, and see the World's First Craw Plunger, guaranteed to unstuck things that have been stuck in your craw! Don't forget to try the churros, they're great! And please enjoy the Ed Huntley Ponchos, offered by the Ed Huntley DeSoto Dealership, because the first dozen rows WILL get wet!